Talking Points for Helping Children Cope With the Illness or Death of a Parent

• Mommy or Daddy’s dying and her/his sickness was not their fault or anyone’s fault.
• The doctors wish that they could have helped her/him and made her/him better.
• Mommy/Daddy’s sickness was an unusual sickness and one that boys and girls really do not get.
• To be said if a parent’s death is imminent: Mommy/Daddy is going to die in a few days and we must prepare. It is not your fault that your mommy/daddy has to die. We must prepare ourselves for them to leave us.
• Nobody wanted mommy/daddy to be sick and mommy/daddy didn’t want to be sick…nobody wanted this to happen.
• Mommy’s/Daddy’s know children don’t always obey, nobody does.  It is important you know you are a Good boy/girl, and mommy and daddy know this and love you so much and would never want to leave him. But sadly, her special sickness makes it so she/he has to.
• Sometimes boys and girls think that they have been naughty and that their being naughty made their mommy/daddy sick – but that is not true…when you are older you will know it was never your fault that mommy/daddy was sick.
• Mommy and Daddy wish it were not true – we all wish that your mommy/daddy could have gotten better, but her/his body just couldn’t get better and we have to say goodbye…it is so sad…we wish it did not happen. But it has and we must now know that we loved mommy/daddy and that they loved us.